Fine, I’ll Just Take My Negative Net Worth Elsewhere.

This past October, I broke up with my bank. After walking a mile and a half in the rain, I entered the lobby, made my way to the seating area, and waited patiently to speak with someone in charge. I opened my notebook to review the list of complaints I had compiled the night before. It looked a little like this:

1. In the two months I have had a business checking account with you, I have been able to access my online information only twice. Your IT people have kept me on the phone for 3 hours trying to resolve the issue, but in the end, said it was simply because I have a Mac.

2. The Administrator of your small business office had me fill out a credit card application and provide personal tax returns only to lose them. I called her twice to follow up, and she did not return my call either time.

3. When I came down in person to find out what had happened to my paperwork, I was passed off to three different employees, one of which was a total douchebag named Toby that talked to me about business plans like I was still in diapers.

4. You and your team completely suck.

Well, needless to say, when the moment came to sit down with the Vice President of the bank and share these concerns, my hands began to shake and tears welled up in my eyes. Hey, money is an emotional thing, and when you’re just starting out, you don’t feel as though you have a lot of bargaining chips. In the end, I got it all off my chest, just with snot dribbling down my nose and that really embarrassing shaky lip thing that we all get when talking and crying at the same time.

For days afterward, I regretted the show of emotion, wishing I could have soldiered through the meeting and fallen to pieces only after reaching the safety of a bathroom. At the same time, every cashier, teller, and customer within earshot that morning was reminded, even if only for a moment, that money is personal.

Filed under Blackbird Diary |