Like Getting a Cow’s Rear End Through Customs.

Uh, yeah, I know what you’re thinking. But allow me to backtrack a bit before explaining my heading choice for today’s post. Several months ago, I was scouring the internet for interesting, soul-searchy, creative, random bits, and I happened upon a little site entitled Your Life Crisis. Immediately, I knew something promising had to be around the corner, and I’m happy to report that it did not disappoint. The site, brainchild of Aussie, Jarrod Pickford, is an exploration of the quarter-life crisis phenomenon told through video clips and interviews with twenty-somethings from around the world. It was like water to my dry, overworked root system, and after soaking in a bit of nourishment, I wrote Jarrod a letter, praising his efforts and thanking him for the inspirational oasis, making sure to note that if he should ever make it to Seattle, I’d certainly be ripe for a chat.

Well, this past Spring, Jarrod and I met face to face, and following friendly introductions, our chat began, and it would continue for four solid hours. It makes sense that, in times of uncertainty and struggle, camaraderie becomes increasingly important, but I had been charging forth by myself for so long that this fact somehow escaped me. Certainly, friends, neighbors and co-workers have rallied around my business effort, but being at the helm is inherently lonely, and at the end of the day, you feel the weight of that loneliness. And while the solitude is not a bad thing, it’s nice to occasionally look up and see your fears, frustrations and realizations reflected in the eyes of a fellow traveler. Continue reading »

I’m Rubber, You’re (Really Lame) Glue.

So, I created the very first Resume Tee in an attempt to find myself a job. I wore it anywhere and everywhere, and more often than not, people responded with curiosity and encouragement. However, one day, while working with my buddy Anna, an older man came in to buy a cup of coffee, and he offered up a very different reaction. He asked what type of job I was seeking, and I explained that I had a strong interest in writing and copy-editing positions. Well, before I could blink, he responded by saying, “Writing, huh? I sure hope you’re comfortable with failure.”

As he continued on to describe how many of his friends are “successful” writers, all the while maintaining a consistently patronizing tone and posture, Anna’s face grew red with fury and we both began to twitch…anxiously awaiting his departure. Finally, after what felt like 5 years, he exited, and a flood of expletives poured from our mouths. Really, who says that kind of thing to someone? Continue reading »

Take a Walk.

As I speak with more and more people who have started their own businesses or followed some creative path, there is almost always a reference to the negative voices they heard early on. No, I’m not talking about schizophrenia here. These voices are the ones that every person on the planet has struggled with at some point. It’s the voice of an overbearing parent, tactless acquaintance, crappy employer, unhappy partner, cruel stranger. A criticism that has stayed with you so long and made such an impression that, over time, it has morphed with your own views of yourself.

Despite their varying origins, these echoes of negativity all love to surface around the same time. It is in the exact moment we consider doing something new or out of the ordinary. All it takes is a whiff of fear or vulnerability. They smell blood and come running. “Oh, so you think you’re going to take that class, ask that boy out, apply for that job, [insert other act of bravery here], well, we’re just here to warn you that you’re going to look like an idiot. Don’t even try. You’ll just be disappointed. People will laugh at you.” Continue reading »

Be Sure to Stretch.

Not only is it a bit cliche to say that building a business is much like running a marathon, it’s somewhat inaccurate. When faced with the challenge of running a marathon, you have a strong sense of what you’re up against. You’ve seen the course map, bought some decent insoles, and loaded your ipod with good music. Over several weeks or months, you’ve followed a training regimen, and feel prepared for the task at hand come game day.

Unfortunately, with a new business, no matter how much research you do or how many months you prepare, readiness will forever remain illusive, and at some point, you’ll just have to show up with your number pinned to your chest and hope that the weather holds. Route maps across this landscape are at best rough estimates of the road ahead. No two businesses ever run the same 26.2 miles, so when others attempt to offer you directions, thank them graciously, but know that your destination is different from theirs and you will inevitably need to stray. That said, there is one major step you can take to arm yourself against the unknown. Be sure to stretch. Flexibility counts for a whole hell of a lot, and it is a skill that never loses value. Every successful business accepts this sooner rather than later. Continue reading »

The Early Works.

Back in 2001, when I still lived in Washington, D.C., the Smithsonian Art Museum was featuring an exhibition of early sketches from some of the greats, Monet, Van Gogh, Renoir, Picasso and others. One fine weekday afternoon, I wandered over on my lunch break to take in what I assumed would be the raw seeds of genius. Now, let me preface this story by saying that I’m not well versed in art history, and what little I do know was absorbed by osmosis, growing up around a sister who exited the womb with a passion for the stuff.

And so, I entered the museum fully expecting to be blown away…to witness that it’s just in the cards for some people. They are born, and from a young age, talent just pours out effortlessly from their bodies. I hurried past the Greek and Egyptian wings, anxious to see if these preconceived notions about genius would be proven right. As I approached the exhibition, my pace slowed until finally I came to a stop in the center of the main room, where I then sat down on one of the large wooden benches. I carefully scanned all of the sketches, taking in the subtlety and simplicity of the collection as a whole. While some were quite stunning and full of emotion upon close examination, the majority of early sketches were just that. Most of us (common folk) would never know them from the student drawings hanging in our local high school. Continue reading »

Before You Call it Quits…

Whether it is a decision to pursue a degree, try a completely different job, or start selling handbags at your local farmers market, there will be moments when you think to yourself, “my idea is stupid, and I’m a douche bag.” It comes with the territory of putting yourself out there, and it is in the very moment that these thoughts come on that most people curl back into their shells.

Well, I’m going to try and discourage you from such a retreat by reviewing two ideas that are easily much more ridiculous than anything you could possibly be trying to market, and yet they have been wildly successful.

1. Manheim Steamroller. Chip Davis, and his merry band of old men with pony tails make what he describes as “18th century rock n’ roll.” Well, yeah, of course they do. And somehow they’ve managed to sell 20 million albums. If they haven’t already completely destroyed Christmas for you, then get ready because at some point they will. Continue reading »

Take Those Ridiculous Things Off.

Nothing ever goes the way you imagine it will. And I suppose that’s the wonderful and horrifying side of taking a chance. Wouldn’t you know it, that on the very day I could hear the last pretty penny of my business loan clink against the bottom of my piggy bank, I landed a freelance writing job, which partly explains my two month absence from the Blackbird blog. And now that the job is winding down, I’m faced with a strange irony. Rather than earning a respectable living through my t-shirt business, the business itself landed me a different job that allowed me to reclaim financial stability. Continue reading »

This One Goes Out to All My Peeps.

Back in Virginia, my middle school used to host an annual dance for the students. And so, every spring hundreds of awkward, socially inept tweens would gather ’round the basketball-court-turned-dance-floor and stare at each other or down at their shoes. In preparation for this momentous occasion, my mom and I would scavenge the mall for the most hideous dress available, pair it with clip-on earrings the size of my fists, and top the whole ensemble off with an Ogilvie home perm. It was like a makeover in reverse. Even worse, I would show up at the dance, talk to my same two lame friends and, if it was a good night, dance with a boy three inches shorter than me that hadn’t bothered to brush his teeth.

Well, as much as I’d love to say that these types of experiences are faint memories, now barely visible in the rear view mirror of the polished, socially graceful woman I’ve become…I’m afraid I can’t. In fact, as an adult, I have often entered social situations, felt horribly uncomfortable, and ended up staring at my shoes for hours upon end. Because my years of work in the service industry demanded a certain amount of conversational skill, I learned how to handle awkwardness with more finesse, but it never completely dissipated. So, to be authoring a blog about putting yourself out there feels a bit like my way of dealing with personal social shrapnel. Continue reading »

I’m Really Big in Canada.

Actually, not really, but thanks to Montreal’s CJAD radio station, and talk show host, Peter Anthony Holder, I landed my very first on air interview. Feel free to take a listen. I find it particularly awesome that the segment opens with Herbie Hancock.

 

 CJAD Interview: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

The Answer is in the Question.

There are a ton of websites and blogs offering all kinds of business advice, tips, resources, and news, but after scouring many of them, I’ve come away feeling rather unenlightened. Perhaps it’s because most of these sites are rooted in the assumption that you already know what it is you want to do. While it may sound odd, I actually think it is the prelude to that stage which warrants attention, advice, tips and resources. After all, you feel most vulnerable when the old internal compass is on the fritz. So, it seems strange that significantly more aid is directed to people who have intact navigational equipment. What about the millions of poor souls lost at sea? Continue reading »

We the Jury Find…A Little Peace of Mind?

Last month, I received the universally dreaded jury summons in the mail. Amidst business startup insanity and an insomnia induced haze, it was the last thing I needed. How could the gods conspire against me like this? After years of working crap jobs and praying for any believable excuse to call in sick, it is only now that I get tapped on the shoulder and handed the ultimate get out of work free card. As the owner and sole full-time employee of a fledgling company, timing really couldn’t have been worse.

I tossed the summons onto an ever growing pile of stuff to avoid and went on about my day secretly hoping that I’d be visited by some sort of civic duty fairy that could wave her wand and POOF, my summons would disappear. Sadly, several fairy free days passed and I began to realize that it was going to take more than wishful thinking to get myself out of this. So, as a last gasp attempt to dodge the bullet, I wrote a weepy request for postponement, taking extra care to trap a single salty little tear in one of the paper folds. Continue reading »

Keep Your Stinking Ribbons.

Before I could walk or even crawl, I could swim. My mom often tells the story of how a woman at our local pool suffered a near heart attack when, at the age of 2, I walked over in my diaper and jumped right in to the deep end. It was like that familiar footage of newborn sea turtles that break out of their shells, shimmy to the surface of the sand, and instinctively crawl toward the water. Without influence or suggestion, I simply knew the water was where I wanted to be…all the time. I had the chlorine tinted hair and wrinkly extremities to prove it. And my affection for it would remain alive and well until competitive swimming entered my life. Sadly, adding structure, discipline, and a bunch of blue ribbon obsessed parents to the mix robbed it of all that was special to me, and I retired my little suit and cap by age 6.

Now, at 31, I look back on that early instinctive drive with wonder. It seemed to fade with childhood, only to be gradually replaced by all the things I was attempting to escape when I quit swimming. Rules, opinions, competitiveness and insecurities are far more accurate characterizations of adulthood than the self-assurance I felt as a child. You would think the opposite would be true, that people would get closer to their true identity, but in my experience that is rarely the case. Continue reading »

Even Robots Get the Blues.

You really do have to be a machine in order to make any significant headway as a self-made man or woman, or at least this is what I’m assuming since ’self-made’ doesn’t quite apply to me yet. As a culture, we have an undying fascination with the whole rags to riches story, but what gets someone from the rags to the riches exactly? There is this romantic notion of chasing down the American Dream, but as we all know, with romance comes the ever encroaching risk of heartbreak.

No one seems to linger on this point though, perhaps because the people that ‘make it’ are only interesting enough to interview post-success. And so, looking down from the top, it’s probably easy for them to adopt a sentimental view of the struggle. I, however, am in the thick of it, and the uphill climb is a sonofabitch. Sentimental feelings are a long way off for this little bird. That said, the relationship is not without romance. Waking up at a reasonable hour, strolling in to my very own studio, enjoying the backdrop of good music and old movies while I work, these are the small payoffs that I treasure. Continue reading »

A Pat on the Back and a Punch to the Face.

So, the whole marketing thing is new, and somewhat uncomfortable territory for Blackbird Tees. That said, once the novelty of launching a business wears off with friends and family, I am actually going to need customers. And so, today I dipped my feet into the frigid water of self-promotion to see what happens. Will I lose a toe, drop a toaster in and end my misery, suffer lasting hypothermia? Well, the jury is still out.

After creating an account on craigslist, I submitted a post to the job market forum, describing my business and how I screenprint people’s resumes onto their shirts. Well, within seconds, a stranger responded with some words of encouragement, “fabulous, innovative idea.” Great, I’m feeling good, embraced by the community at large…at one with my people. Not even thirty seconds later, another user, who identifies him/herself only by the alias ‘fartedatwork3′ replies to that post by writing “for tards like you, maybe.” And that’s all she wrote, folks. So ends today’s plunge into the Arctic cold, and I’m walking away feeling like I’ve taken a hit. A little like our friend the dog. Continue reading »

Fine, I’ll Just Take My Negative Net Worth Elsewhere.

This past October, I broke up with my bank. After walking a mile and a half in the rain, I entered the lobby, made my way to the seating area, and waited patiently to speak with someone in charge. I opened my notebook to review the list of complaints I had compiled the night before. It looked a little like this:

1. In the two months I have had a business checking account with you, I have been able to access my online information only twice. Your IT people have kept me on the phone for 3 hours trying to resolve the issue, but in the end, said it was simply because I have a Mac.

2. The Administrator of your small business office had me fill out a credit card application and provide personal tax returns only to lose them. I called her twice to follow up, and she did not return my call either time.

3. When I came down in person to find out what had happened to my paperwork, I was passed off to three different employees, one of which was a total douchebag named Toby that talked to me about business plans like I was still in diapers.

4. You and your team completely suck. Continue reading »